Meanie

Have you ever been an asshole?

I have

You know, making folks feel bad

And not caring or giving two you-know-what’s

While you’re doing it

I don’t think I’ve ever done it on purpose

But I have done it

I made some people question their choices

Caused others to think they’ve done something horrible to me

Made the rest wonder why they even chose to say hello in the first place

But again, it isn’t on purpose

I try to be nice

Well, nicer

Lately

But with a certain sense of confidence now

You see, some time ago

I used to want everyone to like me

Men, Women, Children, newborns, fetuses

I mean EVERY one

I sought after their approval

Wanted to make them smile

Brighten up their day

But I realized

I couldn’t do it

Not all the time anyway

I couldn’t meet everyone’s approval

I don’t think I’m meant to

Once I realized this

I stopped worrying

I quit agonizing

I ceased the over-thinking

And I just lived

My

Life

The way I wanted to

The way that made me feel at least half how I was supposed to

Be living it

I please some people

I don’t please others

The rest may be plotting my death as I write this

But hey, that’s life right?

That

Is

Life

Nowadays, the only people who I seek approval from

Are the ones that matter the most to me

I still don’t always make them happy either

As a matter of a fact

I can make their feelings Cringe sometimes

With only my words

And

Not

Even

Realize

It

The difference between hurting these people and hurting others

Nowadays

I actually feel bad

Like really, really bad

Horrible

So as I grow, mature

And try to be brave enough to not hold onto the handrails during this

Rollercoaster ride that we call life

I will try to own up to my mistakes

If I have hurt you, ever

And you matter to me (these people know who they are)

I say this

To you

I’m Sorry

Suicidal Thoughts

I hate it

I hate every ounce of it

Yeah, everyone has their problems

But my life, it ain’t worth shit

I ask for one thing

True and pure happiness

But instead it feels like  that guy

In the movie: The Pursuit of Happyness

Already constantly feeling like crap

All I get is more misery

Every time my phone rings

Seems like bad stuff is happening deliberately

But I have a solution

A real quick fix to make it all stop

A knife across the throat

Or perhaps a gun to my temple, one quick pop

I don’t care anymore

I’m sure I’ll go straight to hell

For taking God’s greatest gift

And throwing it down that dark well

There are other ways you know

Like bottles of pills or trying to take flight

That last one seems very fitting

Since I’ve always been afraid of heights

I only hear from folks when they need something

They won’t miss my boring personality

It’ll be like nothing ever happened

Same old, just another statistic actually

Not a great swimmer

So maybe a drowning will get the job done

It’ll look like an accident

So my insurance money will still go to my son

All I ever wanted was one thing

And I’ve finally seemed to have found it

But I can’t have it everyday

So I think my life I will decisively quit

Those of you judging me

Claiming that I’m looking at an half empty cup

Have no idea what I’ve been through

So respectfully, you all can shut the Fuck up

Feeling helpless, feeling out of sorts

Thinking I should give this death thing a whirl

Can’t fix everyone’s problems

I really want to but I can’t save the entire world

So much on my shoulders

I’m so tired of carrying this burden alone

Feeling like even God doesn’t care

Wondering if He will ever answer the phone

There’s no relief in sight

People keep doing the opposite

They don’t listen to me, don’t get me

Being my friend should come with a prerequisite

Whatever any of you are saying

I could really care less

You’ll talk about me the most

After this bullet enters my chest

So I’m done talking, It’s time to sleep

But I promise you I won’t wake with the next dawn

I’m already constantly in the shadows

So you definitely won’t miss when I’m gone..

The Unicorn

There was a while there when I was afraid to approach you

A time when I only sought after you from a distance

Kept to myself because I didn’t want to frighten you away

To say that I was a silent hunter wouldn’t even be correct

Because the truth is I wasn’t hunting, I was merely admiring

Trying to take in everything that was you

I only say everything because if I was to take the time

To list each and everything about you that I love

We would both be old by the time I finished

But only you would remain as beautiful as you are now

There are different names to describe creatures as amazing as you

But only one seems fitting for you

Mythical, majestic, graceful and very difficult to catch

So I call you my Unicorn

Truly one of a kind, sights like you are very hard to come by

I bided my time hoping for a chance

And finally, eventually I got it

My Unicorn

I say it again because it’s still hard to believe

Hard to believe that you’re finally mine

Even as I still watch you, still smell you

Still hold you; I am still in awe of you

I still can’t believe that I actually have you

And even now I sometimes feel as if I don’t

Not because of anything you have done

But because reality says that as difficult as it was to catch you

It’s got to be 100 times harder to keep you

People say once you’ve caught a Unicorn

It’s not a Unicorn to you anymore

Since you have captured it, that desire you had will fade away

Until you find another one

I disagree

There aren’t any others out there

Not for me

I can’t see anything past you

There are legendary creations in this world

And I managed to catch the best one

There will never be another one like her

So to me, you are, and will always be…

                                                  …my Unicorn

Her

Her smile...

Her smile shines brighter than the sun, moon and every other star combined.

So bright that you would even be able to see them during the day. 

In fact they are so bright that you could honestly compare her teeth to a string of constellations that would make you wanna lay on the grass and just stare up at them all night.

Her lips...

Her lips are like diving into your bed after having the hardest day you've ever had in your life.

Then having that same bed change into a tropical vacation that lasts forever.

And those lips are always coated in lipgloss that just so happen to be the exact flavor fruit that you were craving that entire day.

Her skin...

Her skin is like a silk blanket that you would be afraid to wrap yourself in because you wouldn't want to ruin it with your own germs and body funk.

You just stroke it every so often to remind yourself of what heaven feels like.

Her eyes...

Looking into her eyes is like peering into pure beauty.

Beauty so pure that if it could be transferred into a drug, you wouldnt be able to afford it at its street value.

You'd be better off by-passing the easy to notice handshake you would give "that guy on the corner" and just go straight to the Colombian fields yourself and get the wholesale price from the Cartel dealer down there.

Bring it back to your place and cut it the way that you want.

But heres the thing,

                             you can't cut this kind of beauty.

It's already chopped and screwed just the way you want it.

That's what makes her so special, she's just the way you want her.

If you could take what she was and melt her down into a fiery ball of pretty, then take that same ball of raw gorgeous and mold it into whatever the most absolute flawless woman would be to you, you would simply find yourself with a finished product the same as what you began with.

You'd be nearly unable to determine a way to describe what she was exactly, but there is one name and only one name that just gets it right;

                                                                                 Nicole.

Spoken Truth

"Sex $#!t"

More than just sex, I wanna give you my excess

This and that, Everything left over from past Ex’s

Things taken way back from unsent text’s

I hope to see a shooting star and make you my next wish

So much trust, I feel safe to enter unprotected

Remove our clothes and throw away the contraceptive

Before I proceed I must stop to give you a wet kiss

Down below, more than a meal, girl You’re the best dish

Your body squirming, my tongue got you grabbing your necklace

Made a move with my finger and your legs almost broke my neck disk

I signed my name right there cuz this ain’t no guest list

I should be the only one down here cuz they ain’t no guest lips

I come up for air like I’ve been under the deck ship

I pull out the sledgehammer because I’m about to wreck this

You grab my arm and I think maybe you don’t want to test this

But the provocative look in your eye says “Baby, come get this”

A low squeak escapes your lips and I find those wet hips

Because I want you to really feel it and they make the best grips

Every taste of your sweat makes me eager for the next sip

Your pelvic bone stinging against mine like a brand new latex whip

A long while later and I’m sure the neighbors heard the best of it

Tried some stuff that had you flopping around like a wet fish

We lie next to each other, bodies still pulsing, basking in our own sex mist

Nail marks in my back, teeth scars on my ear, I know you’ll never forget this

Please, Please, Please

                                                

Overwhelming emotional state

Feelings of a crush I can’t mistake

I can’t deny my lust for you

Or wishing I were deep inside of you

Just seeing you takes my breath away

Get’s me lightheaded and I start to sway

The rush of adrenaline spurts and sprays

Through my body like scorching flames

Everything about you intrigues me

Your smile and your bright white teeth

Long blonde hair blowing oh so carefree

And those legs

Attached to those gorgeous feet

And my favorite pumps make me so horny

If I had them all they’d definitely complete me

Your skin so soft… slightly warm to the touch

I constantly wonder if you want to fuck

I’d make you love me so much

You’d turn psycho which is just my luck

You’d have access to a hot guy

Cars, money… and a bit of the sweet life too

Just as long as I can keep fucking you

I’m glad I’m not a stalker or a thief

Cuz I would have already been in your house

And have a few pairs of your panties

But sometimes I think it could be easy for me

Stepping across the line and going crazy

Meeting you at a sultry hideaway

So we can fuck and fuck and fuck the night away

Bend you over my knee while I make you whisper

Please, please, please

Just keep fucking me

by Phillip Michael

"Hurricane Party"

Hurricane

Storm

Special state of mind

Feeling that way

Phone Call

Raining

Watch her Arrive

Wind whistling

Perfume

Hips

Breasts

Lips

Bedroom

Clothes

Off

Legs

Separate

Wet Inside

Wet Outside

Howling

Her Inside

Wind Outside

Finished

Water hitting the window

"Thank you” Kiss

"Goodbye" Glance

Clothes

Back on

Watch her Leave

Wet Walk of Shame

Ain’t nothing like a Hurricane Storm Party

by ML Kasper Kain

Fast Cars to Toolbars

History lessons aren't always good



Toolbars will leave u drunk in a bar



Previous calls will cause progress to be stalled



Accidental clicks will make her clock tick



Its a battle of good and evil



And which side one will choose



Who's who and what's what



Her story is skewered by the sewer she inhales



Oxygen, hydrogen, aqua, WE fail



Deep inside, his story is open 



While hers is linear,



Their hope for heartbreak



Is left to a cellular



Search, a temporary internet file



A wall post, a newly discovered profile



On a site meant to be tucked away,



Damn is history here to save the day



Or slave her astray?

















by ThaAntagonyst

Ascension

Warm white rays
Descend from the sky
Flickers of gold light
Sparkle like fireflies

Love and warmth
Overcomes all pain
Relieving him of
His emotional strain

The Angels are calling
They're singing his name
Enticing their son
To come home again

Glancing back
As he ascends
There's no regrets
He's free from sin

Though we are very sad
That you had to go
Knowing you're suffering is over
Cleanses our souls

For someday
We shall meet again
At the gates to heaven
As our souls ascend

by Phillip Michael

Hugs

Sprinkle of rain

In the night

I’m not letting you go

Tonight

The tighter I squeeze

The stronger the heat

Of the energy flowing

Deep inside of me

So

Before I let go

I want you to know

That I’ll cherish our hugs

Wherever I go

by Phillip Michael

There You Go

You just left

And all I see

Is your tail lights

Going away from me

As they are glimmering through the rain

I must have been insane

For letting you slip

Through my reins

Fully knowing

It was chance of a lifetime

And…

It may never happen again

by Phillip Michael

My Horror

Tired beyond belief
Troubled with unforgiving grief

Dazed

I can’t feel myself breathe
What is coming over me

Euphoria

Rain on the roof
And the ever so constant ringing in my ears

Articulate

Sometimes I think
I'm ready to throw away all those years

Tainted

As my demons thrive inside of my core
I'm not sure whether I can take it anymore

My Horror

by Phillip Michael

Less Sad

As I think of you
On this sorrowful night
I hope your ok
And haven’t lost sight

Of the fact that
Your brother is safe
Free from life and emotional disgrace

It’s so hard
to be left behind
But we all know that someday
It’ll be our time

Then you’ll be standing at the pearly gates
Free from sin
And this stupid place

We wish loved ones could stay forever
But, let’s face it
God really wasn’t… that fuckin clever

So if I could offer some insight
Having just lost my dad

Be happy for David
And a lot less sad

by Phillip Michael

Eternity?

Crushing pressure Crackling bones
Air seepage
Sharp pains
Overwhelming sensations
Thoughts of despair
There I am now
Way down there

Doesn’t someone care?

The light
So bright
Ascending
No worries or cares
Golden sparkles everywhere
Most satisfying warmth
And inner peace
They’ve all come down to rescue me

Is this eternity?

by Phillip Michael

Inner Proclamation

Anxious and prolific
I wish I felt terrific

My thoughts are churning
Inner core is burning

Lightheaded and feeling squirrelly
Can you sense my furry

The heavy breathing
Legs shaking

I sometimes wonder
If I’m faking

I always want
What I can never have
Deep inside I’m so fuckin sad

Sittin around just getting fat
I have no self control and that’s a fact

So much to live for
Yet so little time
Keeps me safe from doing the crime

However

Is it worth the weight (wait)
Of never being able to face my fate

I guess I shouldn’t pontificate

By Phillip Michael 06/2011

Next Time You Look In The Mirror

You’ve been wronged, you’ve been hurt

You’ve been lied to, you’ve been irked

I’ve been through it too, I’ve been through the same

I’ve been broken, gotten caught up in this stupid game

I don’t want to push, but I know I want you

You think you know, but you don’t have a clue

I know how bad it was, finally getting over the pain

I know we both like things that others don’t, like the sound of falling rain

I wish I could remove the paranoia and all of the doubt

I wish I could throw it away, tell it to “get the hell out”

You’re afraid to open your heart because someone once sank it

I’ll be your protector, your shield and your warm blanket

You don’t believe me, you want to hear proof

My life has been filled with hurt too, and that’s the truth

You’re beautiful, you’re gorgeous, you hear it all the time

But your wall of feelings is what counts, and I would like to make the climb

My hand against your skin, that’s gotta feel real good

I’d travel miles just to put my arms around you right now, if I could

You needed someone to treat you like a Queen and he didn’t

If he saw what I see, he’d be kicking himself right this second

For some reason, I think of you when I awake until the moment right before I lay

I guess it’s safe to say you’re on my mind for the entire day

But you don’t feel the same and for this I am regretful

I have no choice but to fall back and try to be forgetful

But I can’t not remember, still knowing what I can give you

You might never realize this, but I for one hope that you do

They say girls are like buses, they run all the time

But you’re like a brand new Mercedes-Benz that I want to make all mine

Its been hard convincing you of how special you can be

Next time you look in the mirror, hopefully you’ll see what I see

by ML Kasper Kain

Falling From Life

Euphoric

Pastel haze

Blowing hair

No cares

Slight spin

Free of sin

He’s coming for me

Now I’m free

Free from

Falling

Falling from Life

by Phillip Michael

Summer Morn

Crisp cucumber

Poland laden sunflowers glistening

Photosynthesis

Ripening green stems as the dew emits from ice plants and other succulents

Peaceful breezes sway the blades of grass

Gently creating soft ruffling sounds

As the sunshine warms the day

Another day of peace

Tranquility

And new life

by Phillip Michael

C'est La Vie

She’s bed bound, gazing into his eyes
His hands slowly creep up her thighs

Things got steamy when he pulls the cover over his head
This moment so romantic, rose pedals all over the bed

Top drawer, pull out the rubber
Because she’s too young to be some baby’s mother

There are other dangerous things to put into consideration
Like having an STD affiliation

She fell in love instantly or maybe it was lust
But little does she know, he already left her in the dust

Seven missed calls and a thousand texts later
She finally figured out that he doesn’t want to date her

Sad, angry, miserable, hurt, oh, the pain
Tears flowing just like the rain

Suicidal thoughts are racing
Back and forth, she is pacing