Suicidal Thoughts

I hate it

I hate every ounce of it

Yeah, everyone has their problems

But my life, it ain’t worth shit

I ask for one thing

True and pure happiness

But instead it feels like  that guy

In the movie: The Pursuit of Happyness

Already constantly feeling like crap

All I get is more misery

Every time my phone rings

Seems like bad stuff is happening deliberately

But I have a solution

A real quick fix to make it all stop

A knife across the throat

Or perhaps a gun to my temple, one quick pop

I don’t care anymore

I’m sure I’ll go straight to hell

For taking God’s greatest gift

And throwing it down that dark well

There are other ways you know

Like bottles of pills or trying to take flight

That last one seems very fitting

Since I’ve always been afraid of heights

I only hear from folks when they need something

They won’t miss my boring personality

It’ll be like nothing ever happened

Same old, just another statistic actually

Not a great swimmer

So maybe a drowning will get the job done

It’ll look like an accident

So my insurance money will still go to my son

All I ever wanted was one thing

And I’ve finally seemed to have found it

But I can’t have it everyday

So I think my life I will decisively quit

Those of you judging me

Claiming that I’m looking at an half empty cup

Have no idea what I’ve been through

So respectfully, you all can shut the Fuck up

Feeling helpless, feeling out of sorts

Thinking I should give this death thing a whirl

Can’t fix everyone’s problems

I really want to but I can’t save the entire world

So much on my shoulders

I’m so tired of carrying this burden alone

Feeling like even God doesn’t care

Wondering if He will ever answer the phone

There’s no relief in sight

People keep doing the opposite

They don’t listen to me, don’t get me

Being my friend should come with a prerequisite

Whatever any of you are saying

I could really care less

You’ll talk about me the most

After this bullet enters my chest

So I’m done talking, It’s time to sleep

But I promise you I won’t wake with the next dawn

I’m already constantly in the shadows

So you definitely won’t miss when I’m gone..