Saturday, June 16, 2012

"Thash" Decision

So I think I’ve managed to hit a cross roads. Not just any form of cross roads but the type of cross roads you encounter when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.  That special kind of epiphany which causes you to possibly rethink even your most well put together and carefully crafted thoughts.  Now I hit this crossroads about a month a half ago when I was visited by a friend.  A friend that I have had a crush on for quite some time.  Just over 3 years to be exact.  Yes, many people feel that after one manages to exit the unfriendly confines of High School, scenarios that include having crushes should cease and completely disappear.  These same scenarios should especially never come attached with the notion that one would go over three long years and not say anything to this person.  Well many people don’t know exactly what the situation was three years ago that might have prevented this crush from being acted upon.  Then among those same many people who do know, they probably wouldn’t understand. 

So as not to completely bore you with the ins and outs of life’s trials & tribulations, which all of you have probably stumbled upon at some point in your own, we’ll just say that this crush wasn’t acted upon due to “circumstances”.   If that isn’t enough of an explanation for you, then I’m quite sorry because that is all that you are going to get.  During your child years, you learn than imagination is probably the best means of entertainment you can have. So I simply suggest that you pull that same imagination out of the attic in your head, dust off the cobwebs and use it to make those “circumstances” I was speaking about before become anything you would like them to be.  Thank you.

Now that I’m finished aimlessly carrying on about circumstances and imagination, I’ll attempt to get to my point.  Like I stated before, I hit a crossroads about a month and half ago when a certain friend came to visit me.  Having had gone through said “circumstances”, I had come to my own conclusion regarding the opposite sex and formulated my own personal theory on them.  I’ll also spare you the specifics of that very genius theory as to not spark any debates.  Regardless of what the theory was, it was proven during that visit that there was an exception to it.  If you haven’t figured it out just yet, my friend was the exception.  The lone and sole exception to something I felt I had created so well it couldn’t possibly have any leaks, any air holes, flaws, weaknesses, whatever you want to call it.  But she managed to find the smallest of cracks, the miniscule of chinks in the armor and here’s the craziest part; she did it without even trying.  She didn’t even know she was doing it.  Heck, I didn’t know that she was doing it.  Not until it was already too late.

Now a couple of months before this specific visit, this same friend had already managed to do the impossible.  Again, seemingly without trying, she got me to utter a certain phrase of a certain set of words that I didn’t think I would ever speak again in my closed off life.  Don’t ask me how she did it exactly, but she did.  That’s the only thing that matters.  So after that monumental occurrence took place, I didn’t think anything else could happen.  Nothing that could trump that anyway.  But it did.  It so did.  Causing me to almost completely disclaim my theory, she waltzed in and out of our visit together none the wiser to what she had just accomplished.  She went on her merry way. Unbeknownst to her, she had just left a man falling deeper and deeper into everything that was her with every passing minute.  And with no parachute or lifeline to boot.  Just free-falling constantly with no sign of a bottom, nothing to end the fall.  When there’s nothing to stop you from falling, it means one thing.  The ride that you’re on, considering it is a good one, will never have to stop.  She was taking me on a journey of her, but with no destination.  Just an ongoing traveling experience with her as my guide and no need for any rest stops in-between.

I don’t know how many of you have ever made something us adults like to refer to as a “rash decision”.  For those of you who have successfully managed to live under a rock for like, your entire life, I’ll explain the concept to you.  A rash decision is a choice that you make while either under a ton of pressure or riding on a wave of emotion.  It can be bad or… can be good.  Now the ratio of bad to good is always up for debate.  But there are so many factors that go into whether the choice that was made from the rash decision turned out to be a good one or a bad one.  The situation that you’re in, usually the biggest factor, when you’re called to make a snap decision for one.  The possible outcomes.  The other possible outcomes.  Those second set of possible outcomes are the ones that you didn’t think of when you made your initial rash decision.  And of course the eventual wave of criticism that you will ultimately come across from whatever choice you make.  Some of it will be positive criticism but most of it, yes I said most of it, will most likely be negative.  That’s the kind that you don’t want to hear.  That’s why it’s called a rash decision.

Negative criticism can also be received from a decision that you took a significant amount of time to come to, but usually it’s genuinely less.  Now I have made a rash decision as of late.  Again, I won’t tell you what it is.  Sorry.  But yes I admit it was rash.  But I like to think of it as something I like to call a “Thash Decision”.  Yes, oh yes, I just made up a word.  C’mon if phrases like Analy Depressed and words like anxiarrhea (Urban Dictionary, place is a gold mine) can be created, then I can make up shit too.  Anyways, a thash decision is a thought out rash decision.  I was able to make a snap decision based upon extensive research and thought but it only took me but a second to put it all together and come to a sound, conclusive choice.  Yeah, I did that.  And I stand behind my thash decision because: 1. I made it while I was completely sober and 2. It’s been over a week and I still haven’t regretted making it.  Pretty good, huh?

So how does this all coincide with my friend I was speaking of earlier?  She was a catalyst in my thash decision making.  She was not the sole contributor, no.  She, again, didn’t even know that I was making this thash decision.  But she played a big part, a really big part.  So I ask you, no I plead with you.  I beg of you.  The next time someone you love or care about comes to you with an idea or their mind made up about something that you just may feel is quite possibly one of the dumbest things that you have ever heard in your entire life, take a step back.  Look at them.  In their eyes.  Have a couple of breaths and consider for a moment that maybe, just maybe they are making a thash decision.  And it will be the one thing in their life that will make them truly and completely happy.  I assure you, the world will be a better place if you do.

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