Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Suicidal Thoughts

I hate it
I hate every ounce of it
Yeah, everyone has their problems
But my life, it ain’t worth shit

I ask for one thing
True and pure happiness
But instead it feels like  that guy
In the movie: The Pursuit of Happyness

Already constantly feeling like crap
All I get is more misery
Every time my phone rings
Seems like bad stuff is happening deliberately

But I have a solution
A real quick fix to make it all stop
A knife across the throat
Or perhaps a gun to my temple, one quick pop

I don’t care anymore
I’m sure I’ll go straight to hell
For taking God’s greatest gift
And throwing it down that dark well

There are other ways you know
Like bottles of pills or trying to take flight
That last one seems very fitting
Since I’ve always been afraid of heights

I only hear from folks when they need something
They won’t miss my boring personality
It’ll be like nothing ever happened
Same old, just another statistic actually

Not a great swimmer
So maybe a drowning will get the job done
It’ll look like an accident
So my insurance money will still go to my son

All I ever wanted was one thing
And I’ve finally seemed to have found it
But I can’t have it everyday
So I think my life I will decisively quit

Those of you judging me
Claiming that I’m looking at an half empty cup
Have no idea what I’ve been through
So respectfully, you all can shut the Fuck up

Feeling helpless, feeling out of sorts
Thinking I should give this death thing a whirl
Can’t fix everyone’s problems
I really want to but I can’t save the entire world

So much on my shoulders
I’m so tired of carrying this burden alone
Feeling like even God doesn’t care
Wondering if He will ever answer the phone

There’s no relief in sight
People keep doing the opposite
They don’t listen to me, don’t get me
Being my friend should come with a prerequisite

Whatever any of you are saying
I could really care less
You’ll talk about me the most
After this bullet enters my chest

So I’m done talking, It’s time to sleep
But I promise you I won’t wake with the next dawn
I’m already constantly in the shadows
So you definitely won’t miss when I’m gone..

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