Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Me vs. Marriage

“…and the prince came to rescue the girl and they lived happily ever after.”

Ah yes, the fairy tale. Those lovable stories we all read as children about being rescued and living life happily ever after. Fairy tales, the main source of fantasy that makes us want to find that ‘perfect’ someone (more on that in another article) and live out the rest of our days holding each others’ hands and all that other crap. So we set out and hope to find that one person to someday call husband or wife. Now let’s ask this question, do you remember the days when marriage was about basking in the love two people shared with one another? I don’t either, because nowadays the whole ‘institution’ of marriage has become something of a joke. Between those who treat it as such and those who have their own agenda as to why they get married in the first place, the notion of having to be married to someone has become a bit silly in my eyes. Lives have been crippled by messy divorces and victims of spousal infidelity and loveless jail-cell like homes have driven people to do unspeakable things. So why is there such a need for people to take this big of a chance? What are they trying to prove and who exactly are they trying to prove it to?

Marriage can be defined as a traditional union between two people. I believe it’s the need people have to blindly follow this social ritual that causes them to believe that marriage is the only logical path to take in life, but I have news for you boys and girls. This is 2011 and the traditional way of life is slowly driving itself right off of a cliff. As a matter of fact, can you define tradition? If you can’t I’ll help you out. A tradition is a something passed down through the generations that’s maintained in the present with origins in the past. In the sense of ‘traditional marriage,’ it was originally done mainly to please the parents and grandparents. People rarely had a choice in they who married, as it was only done to align families for better financial possibilities and to protect the land they owned. However history has shown us that tradition does not need to be followed and marriage is no exception to this.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about Andre. Getting married is all about being in love with your partner.” Well I’m glad you said that, because continuing the argument of tradition and history, marriage was never really about love. Romantic love was only shared between regular couples (people not married). In many societies today (yes today folks), there is little to no romance involved between those who are married. It wasn’t until recently (by recent I mean maybe 200 years ago) that people tacked on the
notion that marriages are all about love which brings me back to the fairy tale mentality most people have associated with it. I guess it’s unfortunate for me that I believe in fairy tales about as much as I believe in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny…and care for them even less.

I do have to be honest about something. The pessimism in me gets activated to the fullest when it comes to trusting other people so naturally I’m going to be a little biased against giving half of my shit to someone else, but honestly am I really crazy for thinking this way? As I stated earlier part of my whole problem with marriage is the fact that there are so many people out there that treat it like a big joke. Personally speaking now between cheaters, controlling women and potentially nasty divorces should it ever get to that level, I just don’t see the point to any of it. There isn’t really anything for me to gain by allowing the government to oversee my relationship other than unnecessary stress. Now don’t get me wrong I love women. I love talking and hanging out with them and all that good stuff and that whole having sex with them thing isn’t bad either, but marriage? Thanks for the offer but I’ll gracefully decline.

Ah yes, the fairy tale. Those lovable stories we all read as children about being rescued and living life happily ever after, but here’s something else to consider about the fairy tale. The term also means far-fetched story or a story with unbelievable elements. At the end of the day it all comes down to one thing. It's social really.
The "nuclear family" is nothing more than an ideal created years ago to dictate how people should live their lives. Now before I get any kind of shit for this (I still welcome it), I do want it to be known that I don’t entirely see it as me vs. marriage. I write this mainly as a wake-up call to those who have that mentality that we should all strive for married life. It isn’t at all necessary, and like everything else, it isn’t for everyone. Today there are approximately 5 million couples that co-habit in the US. And while yes, the divorce rate has been on a slow but steady decline since the 80’s, this may or may not be due to the fact that the marriage rate has also been on a slow but steady decline since the 80’s (according to the government census). "908"

by Andre Harry

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