Sunday, January 2, 2011

You can Call, it's Ok

          This time around I would like to talk about another subject regarding females.  Well I suppose not just females only but about a certain level of interaction between the two genders, well the two main genders anyway, of our society.  Say you meet a person and the two of you connect on some sort of level.  You go through the usual motions of talking, speaking on the phone, texting and what not.  Basically just getting to know each other.  Finally, one of you decides that this person that you have just allowed into your life is worth going on a date with. 

            So you ask them out.  Wherever this first date might be is up to you of course.  You guys go out, you interact, you eat, drink and interact some more.  The date seems to be going well, laughs are exchanged, disagreements are at a minimum and you generally enjoy your time with this person.  It would seem that they have enjoyed their time with you as well and you know this because you hear it right from them.  You don’t have keep guessing and assuming whether or not you have made a good impression based solely on whatever body signals they may or may not have thrown your way.  The fact that they have had fun with you came right the horse’s mouth…that is to say, your date’s mouth. 

            In turn they ask you if you wouldn’t mind seeing them again.  Seeing as how you can’t really find anything wrong with them, you reply “sure”.  Thinking if anything else was to happen between the two of you it would just fall into place, you leave it there and go about your life.  Usually it’s not a good thing when you push things, especially with someone whom you have just met.  If they were truthful about liking you they will eventually contact you, right?  Not always the case.

            After a while, you don’t hear anything from this person.  Not a phone call, text message, e-mail, mail-mail nothing.  Now this person really wasn’t someone you would have gone above and beyond for in the first place. But still you wonder just a little bit why they would ask you if you wanted to meet up again in the first place if they had no intention of calling you ever again.  I don’t know, seems strange to me.

            Now usually the potential caller is a guy and the potential disappointed callee happens to be the female.  Girls & women of all ages may have at one point in their life experienced this less than cordial treatment.  Waiting for their guy to call with no positive results to be seen anywhere in the near future.  But what about when it’s the other way around?

            Who says that the guy has to call while the woman waits for him to reach out?  Is there some sort of unwritten dating rule book where on page 56: subsection 4, paragraph 2, line 4 it states “After initial first date, it is strictly up to said male to contact said female”?  Maybe it does say that.  I, personally, don’t think so. 

            Yeah, it’s probably the most customary thing to do dating back since forever.  The first caveman probably scratched some kind of a note into a stone and threw it across the valley to check up on the first cavewoman after their very first brontosaurus dinner together.  But we are now in the year 2011.  Yes, I know, it just became 2011 but still.  Things can change.  The responsibility and blame should no longer be placed solely on the man.  For everything.

            Let’s say that first date did happen and that after-conversation about wanting to see each other again took place as well.  Then for some strange reason, the guy wasn’t able to contact the woman or maybe he felt that, yeah, she can call too if she’s interested.  Her fingers weren’t broken when we went out.  She was very much able to pick up her fork and dine on the expensive lobster dinner that I paid for.  So unless her phone is the thing that’s broken, she can press the talk button on it just like I can. 

            Anyways, for whatever his reasons, he hasn’t called you back yet ladies.  Why?  Why are you asking me?  I don’t know any more than you do.  Perhaps you should look into your phonebook and find his number and oh, I don’t know, give him a call.  It not only says that you aren’t like everyone else who follows the trend of the man must do all of the work but it also says that “Yes, I do actually like you”.

            Now if he tells you that he’ll call you back or tries to somehow play off the fact that you have called him or just straight hangs up the phone then yeah, he wasn’t for you.  But we all live and learn.  But that shouldn’t stop you from also calling the next dude that takes you out.  It’s nice, we like it.  If we don’t, um, we’ll let you know.  Just like how you will let us know.  It works the same both ways.  This is one of the few concepts about men and women that really doesn’t have to be a double standard.  Really.

            Now to all of you who may have recently gone out with a guy and haven’t heard back from them and honestly think that the two of you connected somehow, CALL THEM!  I mean, what do you have to lose?

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