"Thash" Decision

So I think I’ve managed to hit a cross roads. Not just any form of cross roads but the type of cross roads you encounter when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.  That special kind of epiphany which causes you to possibly rethink even your most well put together and carefully crafted thoughts.  Now I hit this crossroads about a month a half ago when I was visited by a friend.  A friend that I have had a crush on for quite some time.  Just over 3 years to be exact.  Yes, many people feel that after one manages to exit the unfriendly confines of High School, scenarios that include having crushes should cease and completely disappear.  These same scenarios should especially never come attached with the notion that one would go over three long years and not say anything to this person.  Well many people don’t know exactly what the situation was three years ago that might have prevented this crush from being acted upon.  Then among those same many people who do know, they probably wouldn’t understand. 

So as not to completely bore you with the ins and outs of life’s trials & tribulations, which all of you have probably stumbled upon at some point in your own, we’ll just say that this crush wasn’t acted upon due to “circumstances”.   If that isn’t enough of an explanation for you, then I’m quite sorry because that is all that you are going to get.  During your child years, you learn than imagination is probably the best means of entertainment you can have. So I simply suggest that you pull that same imagination out of the attic in your head, dust off the cobwebs and use it to make those “circumstances” I was speaking about before become anything you would like them to be.  Thank you.

Now that I’m finished aimlessly carrying on about circumstances and imagination, I’ll attempt to get to my point.  Like I stated before, I hit a crossroads about a month and half ago when a certain friend came to visit me.  Having had gone through said “circumstances”, I had come to my own conclusion regarding the opposite sex and formulated my own personal theory on them.  I’ll also spare you the specifics of that very genius theory as to not spark any debates.  Regardless of what the theory was, it was proven during that visit that there was an exception to it.  If you haven’t figured it out just yet, my friend was the exception.  The lone and sole exception to something I felt I had created so well it couldn’t possibly have any leaks, any air holes, flaws, weaknesses, whatever you want to call it.  But she managed to find the smallest of cracks, the miniscule of chinks in the armor and here’s the craziest part; she did it without even trying.  She didn’t even know she was doing it.  Heck, I didn’t know that she was doing it.  Not until it was already too late.

Her

Her smile...

Her smile shines brighter than the sun, moon and every other star combined.

So bright that you would even be able to see them during the day. 

In fact they are so bright that you could honestly compare her teeth to a string of constellations that would make you wanna lay on the grass and just stare up at them all night.

Her lips...

Her lips are like diving into your bed after having the hardest day you've ever had in your life.

Then having that same bed change into a tropical vacation that lasts forever.

And those lips are always coated in lipgloss that just so happen to be the exact flavor fruit that you were craving that entire day.

Her skin...

Her skin is like a silk blanket that you would be afraid to wrap yourself in because you wouldn't want to ruin it with your own germs and body funk.

You just stroke it every so often to remind yourself of what heaven feels like.

Her eyes...

Looking into her eyes is like peering into pure beauty.

Beauty so pure that if it could be transferred into a drug, you wouldnt be able to afford it at its street value.

You'd be better off by-passing the easy to notice handshake you would give "that guy on the corner" and just go straight to the Colombian fields yourself and get the wholesale price from the Cartel dealer down there.

Bring it back to your place and cut it the way that you want.

But heres the thing,

                             you can't cut this kind of beauty.

It's already chopped and screwed just the way you want it.

That's what makes her so special, she's just the way you want her.

If you could take what she was and melt her down into a fiery ball of pretty, then take that same ball of raw gorgeous and mold it into whatever the most absolute flawless woman would be to you, you would simply find yourself with a finished product the same as what you began with.

You'd be nearly unable to determine a way to describe what she was exactly, but there is one name and only one name that just gets it right;

                                                                                 Nicole.

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 6

...which brings us to the finale.  It's finally over, the last part of my mild tirade on why females should rely more on their common sense sometimes over their emotions.  Hopefully those of you who have been reading this have grasped and understood the actual concept which is not me simply bashing women. I love them way too much to do that.  I'm just trying to save the world, one misguided female at a time.

Last Part (I promise):

I came across a pretty insightful statement that compared the rash decision making that women do to the rash decision making that parents do when their child is at stake.

 

“A women’s natural maternal instinct just may be a large part in why they rely on their emotions so much.”

A parent under stress about the welfare of their child isn’t always thinking clearly.  They are only seeing the end result.  An end result that consists of their child being ok and everything returning back to normal.  The path that they choose to reach that end result may not always be a logical one.  But that’s the thing, they don’t care.  Their kid is what lies in the balance.  Females are similar because they think more with their emotions than with their brains.  They allow their feelings and what they want to happen to over shadow what probably should happen.  They have a “let’s get this done now” mentality.  When sometimes they should use a “let’s discuss what the best way is for us to get this done so we’re both happy” mentality. 

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 5

...and we push on.  This part acknowledges the great power that women already know that they have...and where they have it.  It also tries to enlighten females to the fact that there are men out there who want much more than just what's in their pants.  I know, you're probably shocked.  Here's what to do: 1. Catch your breath that you lost after reading the above statement. 2. Collect yourself enough to pay extra close attention to the words that come next.  When you're ready, you may begin.

Part 5:

Before the not-always-wonderful world of marriage comes about, you need to be able to weed out the good ones from the bad ones and the not so right for you ones.  I know I’m not going in order here but I don’t really care, it’s my article.  You collate men the same way that we collate women.  By using our common sense.  Ok, well our common sense sometimes comes from a different area a little more southern than yours does.  But we do have our moments when we are done looking for those kinds of girls and ready to start looking for these kinds of girls.  Girls, women, females, same thing.  Bear with me.  Fact of the matter is, use your head ladies.  Then use your heart, a little bit.  Again don’t push away the nice ones because quite frankly they don’t always come back.  Then you all know who you’re stuck with.  It’s either them, other women or your vibrator.  So choose wisely.  Wisely being the most important word here.  That’s when your common sense comes into play.  Wisdom plays a decent amount into the quality of your common sense.  Although I’m sure you all already know this but the first part of your wisdom comes from the fact that you hold all of the power.

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 4

...and it moves on some more.  Now the topic shifts to the ever touchy subject of Marriage.  Even guys don't mind talking about this "used-to-be-hated subject matter" nowadays.  Well at the right time.  Don't bring it up while he's watching the game if you don't want your feelings to be hurt.  What?  It's true.

Part 4:

Now let’s say you’ve finally found that perfect guy.  He’s tall, clean cut, muscular and his wallet weighs more than he does.  Flawless.  Don’t do something stupid like immediately bring up the topic of marriage.  Marriage is a touchy subject nowadays.  It really isn’t how it used to be and how it was meant to be in this day and age.  Marriage is more closely related to being a trending style that comes and goes depending on the season.  Some people get married because it’s the “in” thing to do.  Then, guess what, they get divorced because it then becomes the next “in” thing to do.  It wasn’t meant to be treated like that.  Marriage, hate it or love it, is an idea that is only intended for those who have truly indeed found the “one”.  Not just the one that looks great in boxers or drives a Mercedes or the one that bought you those earrings that can reflect the heat of the sun.  But the one that will take care of you when you’re sick.  I mean really sick.  Not a small sniffle sick but you have colorful, very unappealing liquids leaking from different parts of you sick.  That’s real love.

 

Make sure that you really want to spend the rest of eternity with this guy.  Because he’s asking himself and everyone else he knows the exact same question.  That’s why he fainted when he got down on one knee.  The true value and reality of marriage finally sank in.  That’s much better than it sinking in after you’re already married.  It’s tough enough just considering waking up to the same person every single day until one of you dies without you pushing it on him.  Fact, yes there’s that word again; women initiate 70-75% of all divorces.  Pretty funny when you consider how much they push for marriage.  Make sure he is who you want to be with!  Furthermore don’t call off the wedding or threaten to file for a divorce over something extremely stupid.  It’s still pretty dumb, but it’s better to break up over something stupid then get a divorce over something stupid or someone stupid. 

Like I said before, marriage is not a dress or purse that you can return to the church you got it from just because you were smart enough to keep the receipt.  It takes work, dedication, an ass-load of compromise and oh yeah more and more work.  But just because it’s work shouldn’t mean it becomes a job.  You can quit a job, even call your boss a pathetic pervert before you storm out.  But you can’t quit your marriage.  Hopefully you don’t call your husband a pervert either.  It’s ok if he checks out your ass.  Trust me, you want him to.

**********************************************

To be continued...

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 3

...and it goes on.  This portion will speak on whether Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now is better for you.  Yeah, You (I mean if you're a female).  It also gives a birds and the bees explanation about how 'Assholes' are born.  Spoiler: a stork has nothing to do with it.  Again, enjoy.

Part 3:

Next topic: Choosing Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.  Which one should you take?  That all depends not completely on your common sense level but also what you are looking for at that specific time in your life.  You might be at that stage when you’re ready to settle down, put a stop to all of the nightly clubbing and loose sex with complete strangers you’ve been having and pick just one guy.  One guy to spend the rest of your natural life together.  Just One.  Not one until you grow tired of him and find a seemingly better model for you to upgrade to.  No, just one.  Sorry.

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 2

...and we continue on.  This second part focuses more on the non-necessity that is drama and the even more needlessness (I think that's a word) of it being present in a relationship.  If you want that relationship to last anyways.  Enjoy.

Part 2:

Back tracking to using your common sense about making the right choice, all I want to say is this: USE IT! That is why God provided us with it.  You have plenty of other attributes that He also gave you to use for other things.  You want a college degree? Use that part of the brain that controls intelligence.  You want to go running?  Use your legs.  You want to coerce you dude into doing something for you?  Bat your eyelashes, use your “sweet” asking voice, your unfair right to withhold sex and the power of your precious vagina.  You want to keep a good man?  Don’t make petty excuses not to keep him like his hair grows funny or he doesn’t have a specific job or he snores in his sleep.  I’m pretty sure you snore in your sleep too but he doesn’t tell you because he knows it might make you feel self conscious about yourself.

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart

First of a six part piece discussing my thoughts on females and common sense.  Feel free to comment about any and everything.  Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm close minded so I hope that you read with an open one.

Part 1:

Yes, the title does say that and yes, I did come up with it all by myself.  But no, I do not exactly mean what the title says.  Well, to an extent.  You see when I say that “Girls are Stupid”, and I’ve used that phrase plenty of times in my existence, I don’t exactly mean all females are blithering idiots.  This has nothing to do with basic and pure intelligence.  I’m not questioning your smarts because you may have failed to do substantially well on that rather easy open-book exam back in high school.  What I am questioning, again only to an extent, is the female level of pure and basic common sense.  Common sense and intelligence are of two different categories.