Meanie

Have you ever been an asshole?

I have

You know, making folks feel bad

And not caring or giving two you-know-what’s

While you’re doing it

I don’t think I’ve ever done it on purpose

But I have done it

I made some people question their choices

Caused others to think they’ve done something horrible to me

Made the rest wonder why they even chose to say hello in the first place

But again, it isn’t on purpose

I try to be nice

Well, nicer

Lately

But with a certain sense of confidence now

You see, some time ago

I used to want everyone to like me

Men, Women, Children, newborns, fetuses

I mean EVERY one

I sought after their approval

Wanted to make them smile

Brighten up their day

But I realized

I couldn’t do it

Not all the time anyway

I couldn’t meet everyone’s approval

I don’t think I’m meant to

Once I realized this

I stopped worrying

I quit agonizing

I ceased the over-thinking

And I just lived

My

Life

The way I wanted to

The way that made me feel at least half how I was supposed to

Be living it

I please some people

I don’t please others

The rest may be plotting my death as I write this

But hey, that’s life right?

That

Is

Life

Nowadays, the only people who I seek approval from

Are the ones that matter the most to me

I still don’t always make them happy either

As a matter of a fact

I can make their feelings Cringe sometimes

With only my words

And

Not

Even

Realize

It

The difference between hurting these people and hurting others

Nowadays

I actually feel bad

Like really, really bad

Horrible

So as I grow, mature

And try to be brave enough to not hold onto the handrails during this

Rollercoaster ride that we call life

I will try to own up to my mistakes

If I have hurt you, ever

And you matter to me (these people know who they are)

I say this

To you

I’m Sorry

Suicidal Thoughts

I hate it

I hate every ounce of it

Yeah, everyone has their problems

But my life, it ain’t worth shit

I ask for one thing

True and pure happiness

But instead it feels like  that guy

In the movie: The Pursuit of Happyness

Already constantly feeling like crap

All I get is more misery

Every time my phone rings

Seems like bad stuff is happening deliberately

But I have a solution

A real quick fix to make it all stop

A knife across the throat

Or perhaps a gun to my temple, one quick pop

I don’t care anymore

I’m sure I’ll go straight to hell

For taking God’s greatest gift

And throwing it down that dark well

There are other ways you know

Like bottles of pills or trying to take flight

That last one seems very fitting

Since I’ve always been afraid of heights

I only hear from folks when they need something

They won’t miss my boring personality

It’ll be like nothing ever happened

Same old, just another statistic actually

Not a great swimmer

So maybe a drowning will get the job done

It’ll look like an accident

So my insurance money will still go to my son

All I ever wanted was one thing

And I’ve finally seemed to have found it

But I can’t have it everyday

So I think my life I will decisively quit

Those of you judging me

Claiming that I’m looking at an half empty cup

Have no idea what I’ve been through

So respectfully, you all can shut the Fuck up

Feeling helpless, feeling out of sorts

Thinking I should give this death thing a whirl

Can’t fix everyone’s problems

I really want to but I can’t save the entire world

So much on my shoulders

I’m so tired of carrying this burden alone

Feeling like even God doesn’t care

Wondering if He will ever answer the phone

There’s no relief in sight

People keep doing the opposite

They don’t listen to me, don’t get me

Being my friend should come with a prerequisite

Whatever any of you are saying

I could really care less

You’ll talk about me the most

After this bullet enters my chest

So I’m done talking, It’s time to sleep

But I promise you I won’t wake with the next dawn

I’m already constantly in the shadows

So you definitely won’t miss when I’m gone..

"Thash" Decision

So I think I’ve managed to hit a cross roads. Not just any form of cross roads but the type of cross roads you encounter when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.  That special kind of epiphany which causes you to possibly rethink even your most well put together and carefully crafted thoughts.  Now I hit this crossroads about a month a half ago when I was visited by a friend.  A friend that I have had a crush on for quite some time.  Just over 3 years to be exact.  Yes, many people feel that after one manages to exit the unfriendly confines of High School, scenarios that include having crushes should cease and completely disappear.  These same scenarios should especially never come attached with the notion that one would go over three long years and not say anything to this person.  Well many people don’t know exactly what the situation was three years ago that might have prevented this crush from being acted upon.  Then among those same many people who do know, they probably wouldn’t understand. 

So as not to completely bore you with the ins and outs of life’s trials & tribulations, which all of you have probably stumbled upon at some point in your own, we’ll just say that this crush wasn’t acted upon due to “circumstances”.   If that isn’t enough of an explanation for you, then I’m quite sorry because that is all that you are going to get.  During your child years, you learn than imagination is probably the best means of entertainment you can have. So I simply suggest that you pull that same imagination out of the attic in your head, dust off the cobwebs and use it to make those “circumstances” I was speaking about before become anything you would like them to be.  Thank you.

Now that I’m finished aimlessly carrying on about circumstances and imagination, I’ll attempt to get to my point.  Like I stated before, I hit a crossroads about a month and half ago when a certain friend came to visit me.  Having had gone through said “circumstances”, I had come to my own conclusion regarding the opposite sex and formulated my own personal theory on them.  I’ll also spare you the specifics of that very genius theory as to not spark any debates.  Regardless of what the theory was, it was proven during that visit that there was an exception to it.  If you haven’t figured it out just yet, my friend was the exception.  The lone and sole exception to something I felt I had created so well it couldn’t possibly have any leaks, any air holes, flaws, weaknesses, whatever you want to call it.  But she managed to find the smallest of cracks, the miniscule of chinks in the armor and here’s the craziest part; she did it without even trying.  She didn’t even know she was doing it.  Heck, I didn’t know that she was doing it.  Not until it was already too late.

The Unicorn

There was a while there when I was afraid to approach you

A time when I only sought after you from a distance

Kept to myself because I didn’t want to frighten you away

To say that I was a silent hunter wouldn’t even be correct

Because the truth is I wasn’t hunting, I was merely admiring

Trying to take in everything that was you

I only say everything because if I was to take the time

To list each and everything about you that I love

We would both be old by the time I finished

But only you would remain as beautiful as you are now

There are different names to describe creatures as amazing as you

But only one seems fitting for you

Mythical, majestic, graceful and very difficult to catch

So I call you my Unicorn

Truly one of a kind, sights like you are very hard to come by

I bided my time hoping for a chance

And finally, eventually I got it

My Unicorn

I say it again because it’s still hard to believe

Hard to believe that you’re finally mine

Even as I still watch you, still smell you

Still hold you; I am still in awe of you

I still can’t believe that I actually have you

And even now I sometimes feel as if I don’t

Not because of anything you have done

But because reality says that as difficult as it was to catch you

It’s got to be 100 times harder to keep you

People say once you’ve caught a Unicorn

It’s not a Unicorn to you anymore

Since you have captured it, that desire you had will fade away

Until you find another one

I disagree

There aren’t any others out there

Not for me

I can’t see anything past you

There are legendary creations in this world

And I managed to catch the best one

There will never be another one like her

So to me, you are, and will always be…

                                                  …my Unicorn

Her

Her smile...

Her smile shines brighter than the sun, moon and every other star combined.

So bright that you would even be able to see them during the day. 

In fact they are so bright that you could honestly compare her teeth to a string of constellations that would make you wanna lay on the grass and just stare up at them all night.

Her lips...

Her lips are like diving into your bed after having the hardest day you've ever had in your life.

Then having that same bed change into a tropical vacation that lasts forever.

And those lips are always coated in lipgloss that just so happen to be the exact flavor fruit that you were craving that entire day.

Her skin...

Her skin is like a silk blanket that you would be afraid to wrap yourself in because you wouldn't want to ruin it with your own germs and body funk.

You just stroke it every so often to remind yourself of what heaven feels like.

Her eyes...

Looking into her eyes is like peering into pure beauty.

Beauty so pure that if it could be transferred into a drug, you wouldnt be able to afford it at its street value.

You'd be better off by-passing the easy to notice handshake you would give "that guy on the corner" and just go straight to the Colombian fields yourself and get the wholesale price from the Cartel dealer down there.

Bring it back to your place and cut it the way that you want.

But heres the thing,

                             you can't cut this kind of beauty.

It's already chopped and screwed just the way you want it.

That's what makes her so special, she's just the way you want her.

If you could take what she was and melt her down into a fiery ball of pretty, then take that same ball of raw gorgeous and mold it into whatever the most absolute flawless woman would be to you, you would simply find yourself with a finished product the same as what you began with.

You'd be nearly unable to determine a way to describe what she was exactly, but there is one name and only one name that just gets it right;

                                                                                 Nicole.

Here We Go..

Wrote this the other night while high on Moscato...


I see you in your black tank top and pink underwear. You try to run away to tease me but there's no escaping it. What I'm about to do to it should be considered illegal in every state and cuntry in the world. I grab you by the cheeks of your perfect ass and hoist your gorgeous body up against mine. Make sure to press it hard next to me so that I don't drop you. I promise I would never ever let that happen. Your skin so smooth making it hard to grip that booty but I got you, I promise. I throw you onto the bed and immediately reach for those panties you got on. I grab for the top of them and just tear them in half right off of you revealing that bare, smooth pussy that I'm about to destroy. Without even paying attention to the fact that your titties are still covered by that shirt, my tongue sees what it desires and mounts an offensive strategy of attack on your clit which feels like a miniuature punching bag and my tongue is wearing the boxing gloves. Your pussy juices taste as sweet as morning OJ that I drink up with every passing lap my tongue makes over your love bean. I refuse to stop as your pulling on my ears and my head as if you're trying to pry it completely off. I grab your hands and insert my fingers in the spaces between yours and they fit perfectly as I navigate your hands away from doing damage to my face as my mouth goes to town on your vagina. It may need to be surgically removed as your body squirms all over the place. The moistness from your opening is constantly flowing into my mouth and it tastes so good I don't think I ever want to stop. You scream out my name to take a break from your goodness but I refuse and press on, or should I say Lick On. The spot where your ass is on the bed is now a mini-pool overflowed with your pussy juice. It tastes so good, I can't stop. It gushes into my mouth so well, I don't even have to suck anymore, it just finds its way onto my taste buds like a magnet. 

I finally stop and rip the tank top off your chest. My tongue finds a new target in your two exquisite breasts. Your nipples are like spouts of goodness that I can't resist. I bite down on them like a straw and you cry out....but in pleasure. I can feel your hands all through my hair and all over my back. I I squeeze your chest so hard that I think I'm going to pop your natural tits but they're durable so that doesn't happen. My dick is now at a full salute, so I unsheath it and slide it roughly into your pussy as you dig your nails deep into the skin on my back. The pain that I feel only entices me further. I carry you over to the wall and use it like I would the bed. The tremors we create against the wall can be felt all throughout the bedroom.  Wonder what the neighbor's are thinking. I really could care less. This pussy is waaaaay too good right now. I pull you away from the wall and you clutch tightly onto my neck and breathing really hard into my ear as I pull your vagina onto my dick with strokes of force that would make Hurricane Irene jealous.  Your ass fits in my hands perfectly as i use it as leverage to crucify your baby maker with my love muscle. Your grab me tighter and tighter as I continue to do damage to it pound after pound after pound. I don't think it'll look the same afterwards. you might not be able to walk afterwards either. I don't wanna paralyze you but the pussy is so good I can't even describe it right now. 

I toss you back on the bed and find my way back down between your legs.  Your pussy might not have ever received this much attention all at once, ever. It's probably wondering what it did to deserve this....but it didn't do anything, it just existed. That's all I need. As long as it's there, I'm going to Fuck It. Harder and faster than you've ever felt before in your entire life. Your pussy lips are literally foaming now.  Your body still trembling from left over orgasms now hitting you all at once. It's a rare and beautiful site to see you flopping around on the bed in a  puddle of your own waters like a pretty wet fish. Your womanhood throbbing from the beating that I just gave it. Normally, i would let you breath for a sec but fuck it, like I said before, that pussy is too good. I jump on you and in one swift movement I ram my dick back inside of you and continue to beat it until you almost immediately push me off with your legs and gush all over the place. I bathe in your juices and savor the feeling of them on my skin before I insert myself back into you and punish it. You try to escape by backing further up the bed but I catch you and pull you into me with the slapping noises of our flesh connecting with each other. The sound only eggs me on even further and I wrap one arm around your shoulder and pull you up sitting on top of me as I grab your hips and pull you down onto me. I can feel every inch of your wonderful pussy now, its driving me absolutely wild. I wanna cum so bad but I hold back because I want to enjoy your vagina even longer. I can see the sweat glistening off of your body, your breasts bouncing up and down and you squeeze your hands onto my chest and stomach as you moan with delight louder and louder with every thrust that i give you. Your body looks completely amazing in the twilight. Your hair draping over your face is absolutely riveting so I reach up and grab it, pull it down hard and you let out a yelp and collapse on top of me signifying that you've just cum all over my dick once again. I can see the exhaustion in your face but I'm not done yet. I flip you over and force my penetration further and deeper than I've ever gone before. Your body is trying to force it back but it can't because I'm in the zone now and won't be denied of my prize. 

You arch your back and scream with delight and pain all at the same time as another fountain of pussy juice erupts all over the bed sheets and my penis. I quickly re-enter and proceed to devastate you further and harder and stronger as your grip my muscles with your hands, grabbing harder and harder until you can't fit anymore of my arm into your palm. I bite your neck as I release my dick from your pussy's hold and shoot my white love all over your slippery body. Completely out of breath, I lean over and ever so gently kiss your lips. They are so sweet, similiar but different from the your other set of lips at the same time. I can't get enough of either. I grab a towel and wipe you off your majestic still pulsating body and hold you close to me as we both lie in bed trying to recover from what just took place. Before we completely pass out, I lower my lips to your ear and whisper ever so softly, "I Love You". Then those same set of lips on my face immediately find their way back down to the ones below your hips....

Spoken Truth