Saturday, November 19, 2011

Drunk Texting

Some habits in Life can be tough to admit
Some shameful, some secretive, some brushed away with a gesture
But this one is really not, so I’ll stand and introduce myself
Hello, my name is Sean and I am a Drunk-Texter

More of a chronic disease really than an awkward habit
I don’t drink much but when I do I am guilty
Of pulling out my smartphone, turning it sideways
And drafting embarrassing text messages by the plenty

I don’t think they’re all bad, Personally
Some are to females I care of with feelings emphatic
My mood changes from sad to sweet
From down to upbeat, from mad to romantic

I turn into a true blue poet
Someone who carries his heart by his side
Who isn’t afraid to smile, a real change takes over
One that sees Dr. Jekyll without that Mr. Hyde

I can’t deny that some I have very much regret
Unlike any that I’ve written while sober
I pick a girl, grab my heart and begin to pour
So embarrassed after the fact, I wished I didn’t know her

One girl knew she was on my mind,
And that I cared deeply for another
The next heard I wanted to make her mine
But the last saw that I Loved her

I’m sure she knew that it wasn’t true
Probably saw me the same as other despicable men
Recklessly clicking away on the glass screen
Letting clouded emotions spill from my drunken digital pen

Every other day I keep my heart behind a heavy door
The Corona that passes over my lips seems to pick the lock
It opens the gate for many others to enter
Floats my emotions to the top and makes room for the Ciroq

I’m fortunate that in my liberated state of mind
I haven’t done anything to deserve a slap
Including licking beer off of a females chest
And resisting to give another’s ass a hard smack

I’ve been accused of drinking & texting quite often
But it’s a good thing that I never do it alone
Some people make sure their boy takes their keys
True story, I ask mine to always take my cell phone

Society looks down on this deed as being bad
I see this act of intoxication as an art however
Feelings that which are otherwise hard to admit
Fall from fingertips into messages that later will add to your terror

Usually the drunken truth is spoken
And this is because of alcohol, the liquid bravery
So sometimes you should pay attention to those texts
Because they may hold importance, some kind of intimate savory

If those Vodka & Cranberry thoughts weren’t real
Then why on Earth would they ever be said
They had to emerge from somewhere, someplace
They were just tired and Jack Daniels helped get them outta Bed

Drunk people only say what everyone is thinking
Things outrageous like who the hell lives in Kansas?
Or unspeakable acts they would do to that girl
Yes, I am a drunken artist and this keyboard is my only Canvas

My only wish is that when you read you do not judge
I do not deny that for texting under the influence, I am notorious
Someone should be there to stop me with a sobriety test
I’d fail every time but my words would be beautiful and quite luxurious

I know its something that I need to stop
But no matter what I write, I always feel like Im winning
Usually afraid to speak, I am each time the quiet one
But this Long Island Iced Tea always seem to give me an opinion

Either way, drunk or sober
I see the situation and feel like I cannot goof
I mean what I say and I say what I feel
What I feel is not always cuz of Absolut, but it’s always the absolute truth

Monday, November 7, 2011

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 6

...which brings us to the finale.  It's finally over, the last part of my mild tirade on why females should rely more on their common sense sometimes over their emotions.  Hopefully those of you who have been reading this have grasped and understood the actual concept which is not me simply bashing women. I love them way too much to do that.  I'm just trying to save the world, one misguided female at a time.

Last Part (I promise):

I came across a pretty insightful statement that compared the rash decision making that women do to the rash decision making that parents do when their child is at stake.
“A women’s natural maternal instinct just may be a large part in why they rely on their emotions so much.”

A parent under stress about the welfare of their child isn’t always thinking clearly.  They are only seeing the end result.  An end result that consists of their child being ok and everything returning back to normal.  The path that they choose to reach that end result may not always be a logical one.  But that’s the thing, they don’t care.  Their kid is what lies in the balance.  Females are similar because they think more with their emotions than with their brains.  They allow their feelings and what they want to happen to over shadow what probably should happen.  They have a “let’s get this done now” mentality.  When sometimes they should use a “let’s discuss what the best way is for us to get this done so we’re both happy” mentality. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 5

...and we push on.  This part acknowledges the great power that women already know that they have...and where they have it.  It also tries to enlighten females to the fact that there are men out there who want much more than just what's in their pants.  I know, you're probably shocked.  Here's what to do: 1. Catch your breath that you lost after reading the above statement. 2. Collect yourself enough to pay extra close attention to the words that come next.  When you're ready, you may begin.

Part 5:

Before the not-always-wonderful world of marriage comes about, you need to be able to weed out the good ones from the bad ones and the not so right for you ones.  I know I’m not going in order here but I don’t really care, it’s my article.  You collate men the same way that we collate women.  By using our common sense.  Ok, well our common sense sometimes comes from a different area a little more southern than yours does.  But we do have our moments when we are done looking for those kinds of girls and ready to start looking for these kinds of girls.  Girls, women, females, same thing.  Bear with me.  Fact of the matter is, use your head ladies.  Then use your heart, a little bit.  Again don’t push away the nice ones because quite frankly they don’t always come back.  Then you all know who you’re stuck with.  It’s either them, other women or your vibrator.  So choose wisely.  Wisely being the most important word here.  That’s when your common sense comes into play.  Wisdom plays a decent amount into the quality of your common sense.  Although I’m sure you all already know this but the first part of your wisdom comes from the fact that you hold all of the power.
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